So, here we are again – the start of a new year. A new decade, no less. It’s time to set your New Year resolutions! That’s what we’re supposed to do, right?
Er, no. That’s traditionally what goes on. And traditionally, who actually achieves their New Year resolutions? Not many of us, is my guess.
It’s certainly the case among my coaching clients. In fact, we’re not so hot on New Year resolutions. What we are hot on, is New Year Thinking. I encourage my clients to reflect on what’s worked beautifully – and not so beautifully – in the last year and, here’s the difference, how they’d like to feel in the next.
Why do I talk about feelings? Because, if you want things to change in 2020, you need to start with what you want to feel. Not what you want to do. Sounds weird? Trust me on this.
So grab yourself a notebook or your laptop, and let’s see where my process takes you.
How would you like to feel in 2020?
First of all, have a think about what you’d like to feel more of in 2020. Get specific – apparently, there are over 400 words for feelings! What five feelings would you most like to experience? Here’s some examples from me – bold, curious, happy, connected, inspired. What about you?
Then, taking each desired feeling in turn, jot down the answers to my questions below. Not all of these questions will land with you, but they should help clarify what needs to happen.
First, learn from 2019
Start off by remembering a time when you felt that emotion in 2019, even for a moment. Then ask yourself:
- What exactly was going on at that time?
- Which of your values were you honouring?
- What skills and talents were you using?
- Who was there? Who wasn’t there, if that’s significant?
- What was it about that experience that gave you that feeling?
Then, create 2020
- What would need to happen this year to give you that feeling again?
- What do you need to do more of to experience that feeling?
- What do you need to do less of?
- What would you need to let go of completely?
- What really brave action might you need to take?
How to set things moving
If you’re up for this, decide how you can set 2020 in motion. For example, it might be:
- A one-off action? Or several, maybe
- A new habit – stopping or starting something
- A new approach or attitude
Once you’ve worked through the questions above, I’m sure you’ll have a good idea of where you need to start. And then you’re well on your way to some genuinely useful New Year Resolutions.
Over to you
I’d love to hear if this New Year Thoughts process has been helpful. Or what you’ve decided to do differently in 2020. Do, share in the comments below. Let’s inspire each other.
If you’d like some accountability and encouragement in 2020, I’d love to talk to you. I’m opening up my Gold Coaching programme for a short time and have a few places to start in the next few weeks. I’m fully booked for Discovery Calls, but drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me on 07958 501 427 and let’s see what we can work out.